Friday, July 11, 2008

Stay Tuned... We Are Experiencing Technical Difficulites


Wow. My computer has been out of control for the past few days. Something has been way wrong. It had a bug. So, I have not been able to put up any new postings or pay bills or do any of the 100 other things that I do on the computer and I'm going out of town next week for a while and I just had all of this new furniture delivered yesterday that still needs organizing and I'm getting anxiety and I have a million other things going on right now and the stock market crashed today and I'm getting anxiety and I really don't have time for this right now.

I have heard horror stories from other people having these disasters with their puters but this has never happened to me before.

I got so angry at my computer yesterday that I wanted to throw it out the window. Not an open window. I wanted to hear a big earth rumbling loud noise with glass crashing down all over the place. An awesome explosion of shattered glass. And since there is grass outside my office window at home and not concrete, the computer wouldn't have been hurt or damaged enough. So, I wanted to then walk outside with a huge jug of gasoline to where the puter was laying on the ground, still breathing, and pour the over-priced gas all over the very naughty very bad bad puter. But instead of using a match to light it on fire, my torching device of choice would have been an automatic weapon to unload every last round into it. I wanted to kill it. Kill it dead. Real dead. Kill it real dead. Dead.


Somebody had to do something. It was a hostage situation.

But what I did instead, being the pussy that I am, was to sit there and scream at the puter. I was also flailing my arms and flipping off the puter while screaming at the same time. I may have even thrown something. I can't remember through all the rage. It was electronic domestic violence. Think of me what you will.


And the computer didn't even care. It wasn't even really afraid of me. It just sat there, acting crazier than I was. Flipping the bird right back at me. With a big fat smile on it's face saying, "Go ahead, make my day."


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